Today's funnies :o)

 H/T to Donna for these two gems!

And on the 8th day, God created Seniors.
 
Most seniors never get enough exercise.  In His wisdom, God decreed that a senior become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys, and other things, thus doing more walking.  And God looked down and saw that it was good.
 
Then God saw there was another need.  In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things, requiring them to bend, reach, and stretch.  And God looked down and saw that it was good.
 
Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature, requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise.  God looked down and saw that it was good.
 
So, if you find, as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it's God's will.  It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.
 

Seven Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older
 

 
#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
 
#6   Men have two motivations: hunger and hanky-panky, and they can't tell them apart.  If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
 
#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day.  Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
 
#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
 
#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather.  It pays no attention to criticism.
 
#2 In the '60s, people took LSD to make the world weird.  Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
 
#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers.  What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.
 

Please share this wisdom with others; I need to go to the bathroom.

 

:o)